Life.

Ok, so it has been a long time since I have blogged. A lot has changed, a lot has stayed the same. I am in a new place, with new people, experiencing new things everyday. Experiencing God in new ways all the time. I am a full time student of Spring Arbor University now. I love here, it has challenged me more then I have ever been challenged in my life. In good ways, and in ways that I care not to share. One way I have been challenged is in the way I connect with people. In general, and on a more personal level. I am learned a lot about myself coming here. That I am a very strong person, though I have my moments of weakness. Chapel here is manditory but I dont mind, I LOVE IT, every time. The band takes us into the throne room of God. The speaker challenges us spiritually. To remain hungry, and seeking God.

I have become a more patiant person since coming here. Because sometimes God does not answer in bright shining lights like we expect, sometimes we have to wait on the Lord, for Him to come to us. Being quiet and just waiting. That is one of the hardest things for me, to just wait on an answer. I have been in that situation more then once since being here. I have had to wait on the Lord, not knowing what His answer was going to be. Yet knowing that it was going to be the right answer no matter what it was. Just resting in that had to and has to be enough. Know full well, God will come. If He is being silent for some reason, He is probably waiting for you to completely 100% trust Him, knowing He knows best.

What does it look to trust God completely? Does it mean just saying it with ones mouth? Or should that surrender be evident to ALL? I believe TRUSTING God with everything in you takes work, it takes daily laying your life before God, and saying, DONT ALLOW ME to pick up any of this, I know its in your hands, I have to trust and wait expectantly to see where You are going to lead me. Ok and another that needs to be understood here, is that full surrender is not easy, its not something you can do over night, something that you can do flippantly. It is making yourself a "slave" to Christ, to spread HIS love an mercy to this dying world, knowing though where we came from, so we dont get side tracked and try to start running our own lives again. That is why it is a daily thing, to lay your life on the alter of God, and know that you are in His control. NO you are not a puppet, it is a choice, yes. But, if you are fully surrendered to God, you will allow HIM to rule you. and to guide you, and to divinely appoint meeting in your life, with people that need a touch from Him.

Friends..... cant life without them.

Have you ever been in a bind and had a friend that was there to help you? and cheer you up, when all you wanted to do was cry? I can tell you that I have more then one time, I have been in a bind, and not known how I was going to get home even.... One time was last night. And I know that that God made sure that I had one of my friends with me, because He knew that I would have freaked out had she not been there. She calmed me down and made me laugh.... She is an amazing friend, who has been there for me whenever I need her, whatever time it is, even if she has to work the next day, she does not care, she is right there to talk if I need it, to cry if I need it, to laugh if that is what I want. She has been there through thick, and thin.

I believe God brings people into your life at the precise time you need them, sometimes He brings them into your life so you can get close to them, and then when you come to rough water they are there to make sure you stay in the boat. When all you want to do is give up, they are there to to make sure you you don't. When you feel like the whole wide world is on your back, they are there to take some of the load if you need them to. When you feel like everyone is looking at you and noone really knows you, you can rest assured they do!

God gives you people to walk with you, and laugh with you, and just be there with you for the ups and down... That is one thing that I am SOOO thankful for! God is amazing! He knows what you need, and when you need it, even if you dont even know what you need.

God is amazing!!! :) Can I get an AMEN!!?!?

When it comes time to run... are you ready?

Sometimes I wonder why God calls me to do things, that seem SOO hard, and things that I just cant seem to get through? Why me, I find myself often ask myself. Why not someone with more faith? Then I remember that God wants to use me right where I am. He can take what I have to give, and multiply it for His glory. And in the times when I feel inadequate or like what I have to give is not enough, are the times I need to remember that God called me to do hard things in spite of everything I screwed up on, and in spite of the fact that I really have nothing to bring to the table, God called me anyways. He called me to give what I had.

Another thing I need to always remember is that if God calls me to do something He will equip me to do it. Even if it seems impossible. And if it does seem impossible that is probably because it is impossible by human standards. BUT where my strength and my ability to do what I am called to do ends, is where Gods begins, and where God picks up the slack and helps me get where I need to be. When I am feeling like I cant take another step, like everything is falling apart, in the midst of that is when I need to call out to God, and tell Him everything that is going on in my life, and everything that i feel I cant do, and ask for help. Because He is there to help, all I have to do is ask... isnt that amazing, I think it is incredible that God is right with me all the time, and when I cant go on, He will carry me the rest of the way.

Another thing I need to be keenly aware of is that as soon as I make the decision to follow Jesus with everything in me, that is when Satan starts to attack, and HARD. When we step out in faith relying solely on God for direction that is when Satan will send his strongest most damaging forces to attack me, because Satan wants nothing more then to stop me dead in my tracks, because I am reaching people with the Love and Acceptance of Jesus Christ. Satan does not want the Word of God spread. He wants to take down as many Christians as he can, and if he can make me believe that what God is calling me to do is impossible, he wins. So knowing that Satan wants to stop me, is the strongest tool I have against him. Because I am equipped with the Holy Spirit I can ward off his deadly attacks, with scripture, or just by calling on God for help, God will help me! He has promised me that. I am never alone, in anything I do, God is always RIGHT with me. Every breath I breathe, every step I take, every action I make, He is right there. If I need Him all I have to do is talk to Him. He is ever-present, and available, in His power I can do all that He has called me to do because if He called me to it, He will help me through it!

I serve a POWERFUL, LOVING, ACCEPTING, MERCIFUL God. How about you???

Trust the one who got you here.

God is showing me more and more each day what it means to trust Him. When things seem to be out of control, and you are being pulled a thousand different directions that is when we need to trust God the most, and lean on Him for strength. This is something that needs to be done daily, even if everything it going good, and it seems like we dont need God. We need to remember that He is with us even when things are going good, and things are smooth, He is with us in those times too. Its all about concistancy, and making God first every day. Even when we dont feel like it, when we feel like we can conquer the world alone. And in the times we feel like we cant take another step we need to lay everything before God in those times too, and tell Him everything on our minds, either that be frustration, confusion, joy, sadness, anger, anything, God wants to hear you talk to Him, no matter what it is about. Just talk to Him about your day, tell Him the things that are bugging you. He wants to hear your voice.

In brokenness we need to call out to God too, lay it all down before the one who can help you through it all. Sometimes God brings you to hurdles He knows FULL WELL you cant overcome alone, just so you will call out to Him for help. So His power can be displayed through your life, and even in your struggles. God is always there walking with you no matter how alone you may feel. You may feel like you are the only one that is going through this, the only one that has ever gone through anything like you are going through. BUT the truth is, you are NOT alone, if you are a child of the Most High God, you are NEVER ALONE. And also God puts other Christ Followers in your life to direct you, and help you where they can. We were not made to walk alone.

Trust.

When I say the word "Trust" what do you think of? The first thing I think of is the trust fall. Putting complete trust in someone else to not let you hit the ground. I think that our relationship with Jesus should be the same way, if He calls you to do something, JUST DO IT. Don't ask questions, learn to trust in the one that sustains your very life.

I am learning more and more everyday what it means to trust God. God has been talking to me a LOT lately about trust, and giving me instructions... that I didnt want to follow through with, but after much wrestling I knew that is what God was calling me to do. I stepped out in faith, TRUSTING that God will not let me down, and since He called me to this hurdle, HE in HIS great power will help me overcome it. And guess what is the most amazing part about my God? He came through for me!

Is there something in your life you are holding back from God? Is there something in your life that you would not give to God if He asked you to do so? I am going to be completely open and honest, I was not fully surrendered to God, I thought I was, and was saying I was. But He in His awesome Power, and Love, showed me that I was not living a life that was pleasing Him. And that my priorities NEEDED to change.

God is growing me, and teaching me to TRUST even when it does not make any sense at all. NONE. I want to encourage anyone reading this, that even if what God tells you to do does not make sense... TRUST Him and do it anyways. And I am saying this from a place of pure surrender to my Savior. I also want to tell you it took my 19 years to get to this point in my life, the point where I want NOTHING more then to please my savior. But, the main thing is... I GOT HERE EVENTUALLY. Yes it took time, it took effort, it took loosing things that I held dear to me, BUT I finally surrendered everything about me to God, and He came through for me!

God has changed me more this last week, then EVER in my life, the whole focus of my life, my goals, dreams, and ambitions have been taken from me, and replaced with new ones that are from God!

It is amazing to me, how fast God can change a person's heart, and dreams. When I finally stopped fighting what I knew God wanted me to do, and what He made me to do... The moment I stopped fighting and gave in to what God wanted me to do, was the moment I believe I was a live for the first time in a LONG time. God gave me a new heart, and a new mind, and a new spirit, that is fervently seeking His face, and His direction for my life.

It is one of the most amazing, and scary things that I have ever done in my life. To place ALL my HOPE, ALL my TRUST, ALL my DREAMS, my WHOLE BEING, into the hands of my Creator, is one of the most thrilling things also!

GOD IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME! ALL THE TIME, GOD IS GOOD!

Their more then just cool stories....

As I lay outside listening to the birds sing, and my little brothers play in the pool, and soaking in the sun I cant help but think about God and His amazing, outrageous, never-ending love for us. I am constantly in awe of the God who gave up His ONLY son for us! We did not deserve it, nor did we show any signs of turning to God, BUT still He gave up His only son to be a ransom for many peoples sins.

Have you ever stopped to think about that, like really think about it? I mean honestly.... Think about the thing, here on earth, that you hold dearest to your heart, and think about how you would feel if you had to give that up. I know I would be devastated, think about how you would feel if God called you to give that up? Would you question Him? Would you do it? When I think about this I think about Abraham.,. and how this same all loving, all powerful, omnipresent God, told him to sacrifice his ONLY son, BUT you know, Abraham knew God's promise, and knew that God's word was reliable, and trustworthy. And God had told him that his descendent's that would be as numerous as the stars would come through his son Issac. And you know that? Relying on that promise had to be good enough for Abraham, he trusted His God at His word. Abraham did not argue with God, or make excuses, or try to talk God out of it, he just trusted, and did as God told him to do. And you know what is so amazing about this story to me? God came through for him. That is the highlight of the story for me. Is that God called him to do something that seemed OUTRAGEOUS, he followed Gods instructions, and GOD CAME THROUGH FOR HIM!

See now heres the best part about all of this.... let me let you in on a secret, WE SERVE THE SAME GOD ABRAHAM DID!

If He calls you to do something that seems crazy, or maybe even impossible.... thats probably because it is by human standards.... and if we just run hard after God, and trust Him at His word, and be faithful to Him, HE WILL COME THROUGH. Thats the cool thing about the God I serve, He has promised that He will NEVER leave me or forsake me, even when things may seem hopeless or I am walking through the desert, He will guide me, and if I loose all strength and hope, He will carry me if I need Him to!

The love that my God has for me is one I DO NOT DESERVE, one I CAN NEVER PAY FOR... But that is the love that has been bestowed upon me, an unconditional love. Even the love my parents have for me cant even come close to the amazing love God my Father has for me. At times I cant even comprehend it, and I feel so unworthy at times... because I do something that is not pleasing to God and then I have to run back to my God and tell him I am sorry, and repent of the sin I have committed again Him and Him alone... and you know what He does????? Something that NO HUMAN can do, He forgives and FORGETS my sin, He removes it from me as far as the east is from the west. It is an amazing God that I SERVE!

Truth.

Have you ever felt like you couldn't take another step? Been so defeated that you just couldn't go on? I have, and I can tell you right now that is not a fun feeling nor is it a feeling that God created us to feel. When we live lives that are fully surrendered to Christ He tells us that its okay if we cant take another step, we were not made to walk alone, we were made to rely on HIM and other believers who God places in our paths.

Though at times it is hard for a person like me to place all my trust and all my hope and all my strength in something I cant see, but I am slowly learning that is what I have to do. I am a very strong independent person, and I like to figure things out for myself, and learn from my own mistakes, you can tell me till you are blue in the face that i should not do something, but if I dont think that you are right I will do it just to see if you are right, and if you are I will get hurt. I have always been a strong independent person since I was little, and it is just becoming more and more prevalent in my life as I grow up. As I get older and start to make more and more of my own decisions.

But lately in my life, I have been getting very discouraged, and having to lean wholly on Christ for everything, making hard choices about my future and what I am going to do with my life, and it is hard. But a realization that i came to about a week ago was, God has promised me that he will NOT give me more then I can handle, and if it seems like He has and I cant take another step in any direction except backwards, God is right there with me, and He will carry me if I need him to. Where my human strength ends is where Gods divine strength begins. This is something I have to rediscover daily, and become keenly aware of, every morning.

Another thing I need to rediscover eveeryday is that there is NOTHING that i can do to make God love me less then He loved me yesterday, I am a child of the king and I need to always remember that. Esspecally on days that I feel I cant go on, on days I just want to give up all hope and lay down and just stop trying. That is when God comes in and whispers to me that, I am a child of His and He will help me through everything I am going through! If God brought me to it, He WILL HELP ME THROUGH IT! I know that to be true.