Truth.

Have you ever felt like you couldn't take another step? Been so defeated that you just couldn't go on? I have, and I can tell you right now that is not a fun feeling nor is it a feeling that God created us to feel. When we live lives that are fully surrendered to Christ He tells us that its okay if we cant take another step, we were not made to walk alone, we were made to rely on HIM and other believers who God places in our paths.

Though at times it is hard for a person like me to place all my trust and all my hope and all my strength in something I cant see, but I am slowly learning that is what I have to do. I am a very strong independent person, and I like to figure things out for myself, and learn from my own mistakes, you can tell me till you are blue in the face that i should not do something, but if I dont think that you are right I will do it just to see if you are right, and if you are I will get hurt. I have always been a strong independent person since I was little, and it is just becoming more and more prevalent in my life as I grow up. As I get older and start to make more and more of my own decisions.

But lately in my life, I have been getting very discouraged, and having to lean wholly on Christ for everything, making hard choices about my future and what I am going to do with my life, and it is hard. But a realization that i came to about a week ago was, God has promised me that he will NOT give me more then I can handle, and if it seems like He has and I cant take another step in any direction except backwards, God is right there with me, and He will carry me if I need him to. Where my human strength ends is where Gods divine strength begins. This is something I have to rediscover daily, and become keenly aware of, every morning.

Another thing I need to rediscover eveeryday is that there is NOTHING that i can do to make God love me less then He loved me yesterday, I am a child of the king and I need to always remember that. Esspecally on days that I feel I cant go on, on days I just want to give up all hope and lay down and just stop trying. That is when God comes in and whispers to me that, I am a child of His and He will help me through everything I am going through! If God brought me to it, He WILL HELP ME THROUGH IT! I know that to be true.

Why am I here?

Have you ever gotten lost in your thoughts, wondering why on earth you are here? I have I can guarantee you of that. I have gotten lost in my thoughts, and that is when I realize I am relying on my own strength to get where I think I should go. That is the wrong way of thinking, if you ask me. As Christ followers, we are called to live lives like that of our Savior, NOT just making decisions that will just benefit us. Though that is what I find myself doing a lot of times. We were called to live life with our arms wide open, living to the glory of Christ's name, and if that means we loose something we are holding very dear to us for someone who has nothing, that is what Christ called us to do. He did not die so we could keep Him to ourselves, He died so we could live, and share His love and mercy with everyone we come in contact with!

How do we do that?? You might be asking... Well... I believe that we live lives that will please God when we start to live to further other peoples ambition's and dreams, and forget about ourselves, and just live to impact peoples lives for Christ. But HOW? I would say that it can be in small things, it can be in large things, it can be however you can do it. You can start by just changing your outlook on life, and becoming a person that is happy, and joyful JUST to be alive and have another breathe in your lungs. Then you can give smiles that radiate the love of Christ to a hurting people. If you want to do more than that you can be intentional about who you talk to, who you interact with... and always be willing to give up anything you have if God calls you to do that. In my own personal life, God has called me to give up some things that i did not want to let go of because of my human way of thinking, I wanted to hold onto it for selfish reasons, and God made me put my heart in check, and realize that other peoples needs are greater then mine. I am slowly learning to hear the voice of my God, and follow where He is calling me to go, even if that is scary at times.

I am learning to follow my Jesus even when it does not make sense... even if it SEEMS CRAZY by human standards, because it probably is. But if I keep my eyes focused on Christ I find it a LOT easier to do what he is calling me to do... then if I am self absorbed, and selfishly pursuing my ends. When I really think about it, I realize that my reasons for wanting to NOT do what God is calling me to do are very self pleasing reasons, and that is NOT how God has called me to live. I also tend to look at all the reasons why something wont work... This happens when I take my eyes off Christ and look at the crazy thing He is calling me to do. (well it is CRAZY by human standards.) Then and only then do I start to see the obstacles that Satan is placing in front of me. I believe that obstacles are self imposed, and the only time they appear is when we take our eyes off the goal we have in life.

There is however a solution, we can pray and wait expectantly to see where God leads while the whole time remaining focused on Christ to watch where he moves in the lives of His followers. To me personally, this was a realization that could not come soon enough. God has been giving me a heart to help people, and love people, and reach out, and pursue the hurting, lost and alone. When God FIRST started to birth this within me, I tried to fight it because at the time, I wanted desperately to be a Veterinarian. But God just kept talking to me, and ministering to me through other people, teaching me that people are the most important thing on the earth, I believe He just wanted me to know that all along.

Well I finally realized that God was calling me to help people not animals, WHEN I finally grasped that He then started to birth another desire in me... This was a burning desire to go beyond the people I am in contact with here in MI, to to reach the corners of the earth. It was about then that God started to move in the body of my church... and my church started to become more missions focused, and everything started to fall into place, but I was still unsure what God was calling me to do, and where I would fit into the whole thing. Well, two years ago they started to talk about Swaziland, Africa... and something in me just couldn't keep quiet, I felt like I HAD to go, BUT there were obstacles that I could not overcome to go on that trip... the main one being that I was too young.

Well two years have not passed, and I am now almost 19 years old, and they started to talk about Swaziland again, and that Sunday something in me just EXPLODED, and could NOT be contained any more... I didn't know what was happening at the time... I found out later that multiple people were praying that I would have a desire to go to Africa some of whom didn't know that I even wanted to at all... as soon as the sermon was over I practically ran to the table and grabbed an application and ran to my mom and said, "Mom, I am GOING!!" and she started crying, because she had been praying that somehow I would have a desire to go... and God put a FIRE in me, and I want NOTHING MORE THEN TO GO! Right now, in my life, this FIRE burning in me, I cant justify closing my eyes to it, I know that God is calling me to Africa. There are still obstacles that will have to be overcome, BUT I know that if God wants me there I will GO!

Sorry my thoughts are a little jumbled in this post, stuff just started to come out. :)

Life as we know it...

As I sit here listening to a family bicker, I cant help but wonder, is this how God made us to be...get married start to hate your spouse and children and then die... I beg the question "Is this all God made us to be? Or is there more out there? Something we are missing?" There is something I know to be true about my God, and it is that he made us to live life abundantly, and live it in a way that pleases him. And He created marriage to be a reflection of His Love for the church, so when we fight and bicker about little things that cant please God anymore than it makes us feel like crap.

So if it is true that God made marriage to be a reflection of His abundant Love for us, then we can conclude that the love with which we are to share with our spouse should be an unconditional abundant love that has no limits. An unconditional love says, "I may not agree with what you are doing, or how you are going about that, but I am going to love you anyways, even if you dont love me I will love you. Even if you hurt me I will still love you." That is the love with which we are called to love each other, is it not? If we are to mimic what we saw in Christs example, then we can logically conclude that this is in fact that love that we are called to love with. And not just family, we are called to LOVE everyone we come in contact with, everyone we pass in the grocery store. EVERYONE period. You never know what the impact of a smile could be? or the impact of a simple "hi". You could change someones eternity, you could plant a seed and then someone else will come water it... and it will grow until the person you originally touched cant deny that love has changed them!

So.... I beg the question.... what would it look like if we loved with this love? the love that says you dont love me, you dont care about me, but I am going to LOVE you unconditionally anyways! What would that look like? What would it make our relationships look like? What would it make our towns look like? If the people that claim to be followers of Christ started acting like they were instead of just saying it with their mouth. What if we actually fed the hungry, and sought out the lost, hurting or alone? Do you think we could impact our communities? What if this nation that claims to be "Christian" would become awakened and start living lives that would reflect the faith they profess?? What would that look like? Do you think we could change this country? Do you think we could change this hemiphere? Do you think we could impact our globe??? I do! I think that if the church would just start acting like the church we could change the world, one heart at a time! We could start a fire that no man can put out! We could spark a revival! All the way to the smallest countries, and villages in Africa, Asia, India, China!

What if we stood up unashamed? What would that look like? If we wholheartedly followed Christ, and the only words from our mouths were "Yes LORD, where you lead I will follow?" Does that concept scare you? Cause it scares me!! But if need be I will DO IT AFRAID! I am not going to let fear stop me! The path to you greatest potential is often STRAIGHT THROUGH your greatest fear.-Craig Groechel. The second we realize this and take hold of it will be the point when we start toward our purpose in life! Its time that the church gave their lives to God, indevidually, and as a whole and let God lead thier steps, and whereever God calls you go! and you answer "Yes Lord!!"

At times you must go against the crowd....

Sometimes God calls us do things that in the eyes of mere men look foolish, because they appear from the outside that there is no way they could ever work. However, sometimes God calls us to do things like that to show how powerful He really is. He is in the business of taking things that seem impossible to man and making them possible through his power.

There are things in my life that seem like there is no way I can do them. I talk to God about them and you know what he tells me? He tells me that I am right there is no way I can do them.... in my own power, BUT I can do them with HIS help, and that he would LOVE to help be through it. Because another thing I know to be true about my God is that He will never bring you to something that he wont help you THROUGH. If there is another thing I know about my God it is that He can move mountians that stand in the path of His followers if He wants to.

The mountain in my life right now is having an indescribable desire to go to Africa. And sometimes when I mention wanting to go to Africa, people start to tell me all the reasons why it wont work, and I just have to remind myself that if God gave me this desire He is going to help me achieve it and if I have God on my side nothing can stop me.

Africa....

So, I am going to start at the beginning. It all started in 2008 when I found out my church was taking a summer mission trip to Swaziland Africa in the summer 2009. I wanted nothing more then to go, BUT in order for me to go alone a few things had to happen, that was a parent go with me because I would not be 18 by the time they went, they went two weeks before my birthday. And a LOT of money had to be raised. Well, neither of my parents could go. I was bumming, but I moved on. However the flame inside me that was started then never went away.
And it all started to be rebirthed in me at my open house, when I was talking to people about my future and multiple people not even afiliated with my church or knowing anything about my desire to go to Africa stated something about Africa or missions to me, and it got me thinking about it again.
Then on Sunday I went to church, and I sat down in the pew, and something in me just started to explode! I didnt know what was happening at the time, but I found out later it was a LOT of people praying that I would somehow have a desire to go to Swaziland. Well I was singing and I happened to read the title of the sermon that day, the title being "Unstoppable Courage." I was like oh this is going to be good! :D
Then.... Pastor Phil started talking about Swaziland and the trip in 2011, and I tured to Stephanie who was sitting by me and said, "I am going." just that thats it. And she was like... "what?" so I said it agian, and she just looked at me.
Then the sermon started and the first thing that was said was, "The path to you greatest potential is often STRAIGHT THROUGH your greatest fear." That hit me like nothing has ever hit me before, and I knew right then that I was going to go to Africa, and that God was going to make it possible.
Because will I be afraid YES!!! One of my biggest fears is flying over the ocean. But I am going to step out of my fear, and into faith knowing that if God wants me to go to Africa He will provide the funds for me to do it and alllsoo the courage for me to do it! :D

I know I have not posted in a long time, I have been so busy with work, and getting ready for my graduation and my open house that I have not been able to find the time. After graduation I should get more consistent. :] But I have a poem that I absolutely love that I want to share.

The Summit.

The mountain before me was enormous.

I began my climb steady and sure. Soon i

ran into obstacles. Some places I slid back

down the mountain, almost to my death.

The mountain seemed to be winning.

I could feel the force of the mountain trying

to keep me from my goal. But I fought my

way through. Finally the Summit was in view.

It was then the climb became the most

difficult. The steep loose rocks made the

final journey hopeless. I slid down the

rocks. I was hurt, tired and had lost hope.

Suddenly, I felt a force touching me. I turned

quickly and there I saw Him. It was Jesus!

I grabbed both His hands and knelt at His feet.

He said to me, "Oh my child, I've been reaching

out to you your entire journey but you pushed

me away and went your own direction."

As I cried at my Savior's feet, He lifted me up.

We drifted off the mountain.

Instead of rising to the top of the summit,

we glided down to the base of the mountain.

Jesus said to me, "If you said to this mountain

be cast into the sea and do not doubt in your

heart is shall be done." I stood there looking at

the mountain. It was an enormous towering obstacle.

I asked myself, "Did I have enough faith?"

Then I looked at Jesus. Two eyes looked

back at me who had been where I was before.

He had felt feat and loneliness. He had been

hurt and unloved by others. With my eyes

still focused on Jesus, I said in a loud voice,

"MOUNTAIN BE CAST INTO THE SEA!"

The earth began to shake furiously. Rocks and

boulders tumbled to my feet. Something of

incredible size and power was happening

behind me, but I kept my focus on the Savior.

I heard water and waves splashing up.

Then there was a great calm. I stood there

looking in the eyes of Jesus. Love, Joy and

Peace came over me that I could not explain.

I did not have to look back anymore.

I KNEW GOD HAD REMOVED THE MOUNTAIN!

God.

In this blog I am going to attempt to show you the God I worship and love, by showing you who I know Him to be.

First I need to tell you what I believe. I believe that God is the only supreme that has ever been and ever will be! He is sovereign over all, at all times. He is Lord, Christ, Jehovah, Master, Ruler, Elohim, Provider, Sustainer, Jealous... He is an Creator of ALL, all Loving, all Powerful, Living God, all Merciful, all Mighty, all Just, all Compassionate, Unequaled, Supplier of my EVERY NEED, Enduring through the Ages, all Consuming, all Great, Peace Giver, Everlasting, Healer, in Control, Over all, Covenant Maker, Covenant Keeper, Awesome, all Sufficient, Perfect, all Knowing, and Omnipresent among man other attributes that could describe this man that is completely in charge of my life! But most of all, to me He is a PERSONAL God, who is involved in my life, and is alive and at work in the world around me. If you just look around you, you will see His hand is all of Creation. I call myself a Christ follower, and I want to walk so closely in the footsteps of my Father that I am covered in the dust that His sandals kick up.

The next thing I need to address is faith and what exactly I believe it is. Faith is believing that which you cant see. Taking that a step further and saying that faith in God is-running hard after God without knowing where you are going, without having it all figured out, and trusting that God will lead you where He wants you, and He will put people in your life to challenge you and to spur you on toward the goal for which you are reaching, that is Eternal Life.

God does not tolerate sin of any kind. God is perfect and demands that His followers strive to be like Him. He sent us the greatest example, in the form of a man, that is His son Jesus Christ. God sent His son to this earth to show the world He cared and wanted to spend an eternity with us. God created us, not because He needs us, but because He wanted us to be part of the story He is writing, be part of the master piece He is painting. God created us so we could be with Him and love Him, and strive to show this lost world His Love. And the main reason God sent His only son was because He knew that when people are left to their of choices, and to their own reason, and frame of mind, they will choose sin over Him, that is the way humans are. Humans tend to reject that which is most dear. And because God knew that about humans, he sent His son to save those who fall into sin, because He could not stand the thought of an eternity without you and with me. God sent Jesus Christ to be the attoning sacrifice to save us, and redeem us, and lead us back to Himself. To be saved all a person has to do is believe God is who He says He is, believe that God raised Jesus from the dead, and confess with your mouth that Christ is Lord, and surrender everything you have to Him, and live your life taking every step trying to line up with Christ's.

However, there are some people in this world that will refuse Gods amazing gift. And because God is all Loving and all Just, He can not leave sin unpunished. So that is why Hell exists, because God is so loving that he could not let unpunished sin into His presence. So the God-rejectors are cast into an eternally burning lake to burn for all of eternity. BUT there is a way to escape that, all you have to do is accept the free gift God gave, and live your life for Him, and spend eternity in Heaven with Him, in His presence.

God gave us an amazing gift, and He has sent us with this charge-go and spread the truth of Gods word to the ends of the earth! To every every tribe, every tongue, every nation. Love God so God can fill you with His abounding Love, so we can in turn love people the way God loves people. So I leave you with this question... what are you doing with the gift God has so graciously given you? and who are you loving with the love of Christ today?