Why am I here?

Have you ever gotten lost in your thoughts, wondering why on earth you are here? I have I can guarantee you of that. I have gotten lost in my thoughts, and that is when I realize I am relying on my own strength to get where I think I should go. That is the wrong way of thinking, if you ask me. As Christ followers, we are called to live lives like that of our Savior, NOT just making decisions that will just benefit us. Though that is what I find myself doing a lot of times. We were called to live life with our arms wide open, living to the glory of Christ's name, and if that means we loose something we are holding very dear to us for someone who has nothing, that is what Christ called us to do. He did not die so we could keep Him to ourselves, He died so we could live, and share His love and mercy with everyone we come in contact with!

How do we do that?? You might be asking... Well... I believe that we live lives that will please God when we start to live to further other peoples ambition's and dreams, and forget about ourselves, and just live to impact peoples lives for Christ. But HOW? I would say that it can be in small things, it can be in large things, it can be however you can do it. You can start by just changing your outlook on life, and becoming a person that is happy, and joyful JUST to be alive and have another breathe in your lungs. Then you can give smiles that radiate the love of Christ to a hurting people. If you want to do more than that you can be intentional about who you talk to, who you interact with... and always be willing to give up anything you have if God calls you to do that. In my own personal life, God has called me to give up some things that i did not want to let go of because of my human way of thinking, I wanted to hold onto it for selfish reasons, and God made me put my heart in check, and realize that other peoples needs are greater then mine. I am slowly learning to hear the voice of my God, and follow where He is calling me to go, even if that is scary at times.

I am learning to follow my Jesus even when it does not make sense... even if it SEEMS CRAZY by human standards, because it probably is. But if I keep my eyes focused on Christ I find it a LOT easier to do what he is calling me to do... then if I am self absorbed, and selfishly pursuing my ends. When I really think about it, I realize that my reasons for wanting to NOT do what God is calling me to do are very self pleasing reasons, and that is NOT how God has called me to live. I also tend to look at all the reasons why something wont work... This happens when I take my eyes off Christ and look at the crazy thing He is calling me to do. (well it is CRAZY by human standards.) Then and only then do I start to see the obstacles that Satan is placing in front of me. I believe that obstacles are self imposed, and the only time they appear is when we take our eyes off the goal we have in life.

There is however a solution, we can pray and wait expectantly to see where God leads while the whole time remaining focused on Christ to watch where he moves in the lives of His followers. To me personally, this was a realization that could not come soon enough. God has been giving me a heart to help people, and love people, and reach out, and pursue the hurting, lost and alone. When God FIRST started to birth this within me, I tried to fight it because at the time, I wanted desperately to be a Veterinarian. But God just kept talking to me, and ministering to me through other people, teaching me that people are the most important thing on the earth, I believe He just wanted me to know that all along.

Well I finally realized that God was calling me to help people not animals, WHEN I finally grasped that He then started to birth another desire in me... This was a burning desire to go beyond the people I am in contact with here in MI, to to reach the corners of the earth. It was about then that God started to move in the body of my church... and my church started to become more missions focused, and everything started to fall into place, but I was still unsure what God was calling me to do, and where I would fit into the whole thing. Well, two years ago they started to talk about Swaziland, Africa... and something in me just couldn't keep quiet, I felt like I HAD to go, BUT there were obstacles that I could not overcome to go on that trip... the main one being that I was too young.

Well two years have not passed, and I am now almost 19 years old, and they started to talk about Swaziland again, and that Sunday something in me just EXPLODED, and could NOT be contained any more... I didn't know what was happening at the time... I found out later that multiple people were praying that I would have a desire to go to Africa some of whom didn't know that I even wanted to at all... as soon as the sermon was over I practically ran to the table and grabbed an application and ran to my mom and said, "Mom, I am GOING!!" and she started crying, because she had been praying that somehow I would have a desire to go... and God put a FIRE in me, and I want NOTHING MORE THEN TO GO! Right now, in my life, this FIRE burning in me, I cant justify closing my eyes to it, I know that God is calling me to Africa. There are still obstacles that will have to be overcome, BUT I know that if God wants me there I will GO!

Sorry my thoughts are a little jumbled in this post, stuff just started to come out. :)